Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Good on Paper

I started reading Cosmopolitan magazine when I was about 14. My mom would buy it and it was an especially exciting day when my sister or I would find the latest copy of Cosmo tucked between cereal boxes when she came in from the grocery store. I think it was a better magazine back then. I hope it was a better magazine back then – if not my mom had pretty low standards for a 47 year old woman.

I was reading a copy of Cosmopolitan today at my nail salon while waiting for my digits to dry. I realized that the cover always contains some version of “50 Sex Moves Guaranteed to Drive Your Man Wild” or “The 10 Dirty Things Men REALLY Want From You” – just lovely.

I should be a true sexpert by now. I figure I must have read hundreds of those tips no- pun intended. But, how can you remember all that stuff in the heat of the moment? It kind reminds me of learning multiplication tables – quick – what’s 7 x 8?

I think I read it until I was about 28. Then I realized that they were recycling the same 50 sex tips over and over again. Thank god I figured that out long before 47. I wonder what mom thought of those sex tips?


  1. I wonder what she thought of those tips too. Can I be there when you ask her?


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