Bittersweet

It was the last week of May 2009. I wish I could remember the exact date and time. I was on one side of a conversation that was starting to get heated. The person I was talking to completely disarmed me with one sentence. He blurted out, “you are the most amazing person I have ever known.” That statement burned a hole in my psyche. Honestly, I have relived the blurting of that phrase over and over in my head everyday for two months. It left me feeling honored but confused. The “most amazing person” – how could that be me?

I can say the obvious things. Mother Teresa was an amazing person, helping thousands, maybe millions of people. Barack Obama is an amazing person – he changed the rest of the world’s perception of the American spirit. Yves Saint Laurent changed fashion for all women – hence amazing. Andy Warhol married popular culture and art – does he deserve to be categorized as amazing too? Obviously, the list could go on and on.

Me? I am a jaded person grounded in realism. I go to Bloomingdales and see gift registries for the soon to be married. I look at the sparkling crystal and china with a dull eye. I am sorry, and it makes me sad, but you cannot refute my hypothesis that 50% of those couples are likely to end in divorce. I wonder if for all these happy couples, are they each other’s most amazing person too?

I know that in that moment he meant what he said. I wish I could say that he was my most amazing person ever but if I am honest with myself he was not. I really wish I could remember that exact date and time. The moment left me off balance, excited and confused. I think it was one of the most bittersweet moments ever.